My Leg: Patiently Waiting

It's interesting how up until a few weeks ago I could have cared less about the situation developing behind my right calf. After one trip to the doctor though, I just want it to be over. It's not about me being afraid of surgery or being in pain. I just want to get back to life
(*Sings* Back to reality).

I'd like to know the reasoning as to why some shit has happened damnit!
— Tresha (TRISHA) (@shesILLIN) June 22, 2011

I didn't ask for this to happen to me, so I feel that I'm allowed to complain a little bit. My deepest apologies go out to any who think I'm whining too much.

Maybe I did let the situation develop more than I should have, but after all the years I've had this vein bulging out of my leg, it only hurt once. Plus my doctor had already told me not to worry about it. It's not like I just kept ignoring it because I was too lazy to get it checked out. Yet, when certain people ask me why I'm going to & from so many appointments with doctors, they feel the need to tell me that it's my own fault. Apparently the reason I might need surgery is because I'm "stubborn". (If that makes sense to any of you reading this, please help me figure it out because I'm still SHOCKED that a friend of mine said that & meant it.) Yes, I know I need new friends.

Keeping with the "I don't get this at all" theme, my appointment with the vein specialist has been pushed back twice. Originally I was told that I couldn't go in on 7/3 because I'm supposed to be out of town that week. I figured my health was more important that shopping trips, but whatever. At that point, the date was moved to 7/17. However, the clinic called up yesterday to inform me that the date of my appointment needed to be changed again. Why? Well, it turns out that doctors go on vacation too. I could either be seen on 7/8 or 7/21. Since I already knew that missing this trip out of town was out of the question, I opted for the later date. However, after I did so & informed certain people of the change, I was greeted with "You should've taken the earlier day. You could've just came home early." In short, it's mandatory that I leave the country but I was more than able to come back early. SMH, obviously!

Like many of the situations I find myself in, I don't know what's going on. I'm a believer in all that "Everything happens for a reason" stuff, but sometimes it's hard to see how life makes sense. While reality seems to make less sense everyday, it's still a lot clearer than what's going on in my subconscious mind though. No, I still haven't figured out what all the dreams I've been having for months mean. Be clear though: Even if I could get them to stop, I wouldn't. It's nice to see her (I'm not smiling) now that I seem to run into her less (I'm not frowning). My usual random as F--K dreams seem to be back though. One involved Henrick Sedin; at least I think it was him & not Daniel. All I'm trying to do is keep my head above water. Sometimes, that's all you can do.