CSA vs December

 

We've been in this month for a week & it's happening to me again, folks. For a lot of people, December is a month of celebration. With all of the Holidays, birthdays & that little event known as #NYE, you'd be hard pressed to find someone who really isn't in the mood to have a good time. You'd probably expect to see me all up in the middle of all that excitement, right? Well, without going into the details, let me break you off a piece of the circus that is the life of yours truly.
For the better part of the last decade, the month of December & I have had a falling out. Now, since I'm not the type to gush his innermost thoughts on the Internet, I'll give you the abbreviated version of my beef with the 'Season of Giving'. I've: watched loved ones get pneumonia, sat through family fights, spent more than a few birthdays in hospital waiting rooms, found the family car broken into, lost a grandparent (lost another in January, but I'll hold that back) & attended funerals. A week into this December I've got at least 2 family members in the hospital and one who has apparently been missing since Saturday. Yippee, right?

In the grand scheme of things, this stuff is a part of life. However when this stuff always seems to hit you at the end of the year, you can't help but think of everything else that hasn't gone as planned throughout the year. Well, maybe you can but I'm not as great at it as I probably should be. Crazy, right? Me of all people not being able to shrug situations off like they're nothing? Heck, I'm from Toronto. Losing should be nothing new to me. But according to the rest of the world, this is supposed to be the part of the year where you reflect. Well world, what exactly would you like me to reflect on from this past year while I've got hospitals & funerals on my mind? Of course, something positive! How about the birthday gifts I get that prove no one thought about me until Boxing Day? Maybe I'll think about the girl that, according to every dream I seem to have, I'm absolutely crazy about? Mais oui,  the one who I'd gladly tell, provided she wasn't living somewhere that might as well be the FCK'N moon. Maybe, I could remind myself of my various financial & academic successes."Tis the season", indeed #smh.

In short, if I seem like I'm in one of those moods this month, it's because I am. If I get overly angry or seem like my mind is on the moon, let me apologize in advance. To paraphrase something a lyricist once said, "This [month] just reminds me of, everything they deprived me of."