Toronto Sports Fail

As the final whistle blew, the Montreal Alouettes pulled out another victory at the expense of the Saskatchewan Roughriders in the Grey Cup. That's when, after all these years, reality finally hit me. I'm a sports fan in the city of Toronto. The last major championship we won was a Grey Cup in 2004, and that's only if you count the CFL as a "major" league. Other than that, you'd have to go back 19 years to find another championship team around these parts. And you wonder why they call my city the Screw-face capital of the world...
The Jays last won a title in 1993, as a part of their back-to-back World Series championships. As a kid growing up in the city, that's what you're introduced to when you first start looking at the team. Sadly, all I remember from those days is watching what I think may have been footage from the parade. I was a little kid in my basement watching our team on a stage celebrating & everything was right in the world. You know why those two years are still remembered with such fondness? 'Cause ain't $#!+ happen since then! In the 'Group of Death' known as the AL East, it's next to impossible to make the playoffs. Do you know how hard it is to watch Texas win the World Series when I know for a fact that we can beat them in a 7-game series? Well, it's about as hard as watching your former star picther toss a perfect game, a no-hitter & then unanimously win the Cy Young award in the season after he leaves your city.

Now, to both sets of boys in blue. The Argos played .500 football after a season that can only be described as horrendous. I can't fault them for that.  However I can apparently curse, praise & then continue to curse the name Cleo Lemon. As for Las Leafs, well, you already know how this is going to end (Pat yourself on the back for me if the phrase 'Not with a championship' just crossed your mind). I remember the last time we got to the Eastern Conference finals. Facing elimination against the Hurricanes, we went into overtime. I remember going to my room, pushing my homework to the other side of the bed, getting on my knees & praying for us to score. Like, yo, I literally prayed... to God. Then Ron Francis happened. I guess that explains why I'm oh so religious these days, right? I remember the last time we were in the playoffs. Up against the Flyers in overtime. Then Jeremy Roenick happened. My Dad always tells this story that sounds like "1967? You mean, in the amount of time I've been in Canada, they haven't won once?" Honest to goodness, my greatest fear in life is one day having to tell that story to my kids.

Luckily though, there are my beloved Raptors. They've got... heart. Sure they lost another superstar for seemingly nothing, but they keep on marching. Will they make the playoffs? Probably not. Will I watch them with the most naive of hopes that they will? Heck to the yes! 'Cause I'm a Toronto sports fan! I've got more patience than a rehab clinic in Hollywood & more dreams than common sense. Shoot, if we ever do win something, it'll probably take us a few minutes to figure out what to do next. But one of these days, it'll all be worth it. One of these days...

1 comment:

  1. [...] For starters, if you can give my favourite teams the gifts of winning seasons, I’d be eternally grateful. Yes, I’m aware that you’re not the guy who usually deals with miracles. However, stressing that guy on his birthday could been seen as disrespectful & there’s already a good chance I wasn’t getting invited to his place upon my eventual demise. The city of Toronto would enjoy that too. [...]