Klosterman: 12 of 23

You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard
tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When
you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on
the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, "I will
now make them a dollar more attractive." He waves his magic wand.
Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell,
nothing is different. But--somehow--this person is suddenly a little
more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye,
but you can't deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a
weird rule, though--you can only pay him once. You can't keep giving
him money until you're satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up
How much cash do you give the wizard?

Nothing. Let's be honest, if I were any better looking, the lesbian rate would plummet. Hmm...? What do you mean you doubt that? Ok, let's start again. I'm already satisfied with myself. The change he makes with a buck isn't even visible; who says that more money would make it so? So I'll keep rocking the 'mediocre at best' look & continue to hope that one of these girls out here will screw up & take a chance on a dude. Whenever you're ready, Miss Right... any time now...

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