Thoughts from "The Zone"

Remember that time I said that this school year was going to involve good times & great memories? Yeah, at the present moment, that's looking like a error in judgement. I've hit the point of the semester where miserable barely describes how I feel but I do feel as though I can overcome it. As long as I don't die as a result of boredom first.

A wise man once said, "Ignore love and get rich. The most purest love in your life will be expensive. Make sure you can afford her."
— Hush Moula (@ovoHush) October 28, 2011

Since everyone loves to ask "How's school going", I'll start there. I'm only taking 3 classes this semester & I'm not failing any of them. Advanced Biochemistry might change that by the time it's all said and done though. None of my classes are really that fun. Molecular is the closest thing I have to an easy one (Which really says something). Ecotoxicology, which I was told would be an easy A, has proved to be frustrating. It was the midterm I got the highest mark on of all of them & the prof still wrote "See me" on the front page when she returned it. (Again, this should tell you something) Side-note: Shout-out to my partner who dropped the class on the day before our first presentation. I'm not bitter.

Without the usual cast of characters, I can honestly say things aren't the same. The random conversations that used to get me through the day are seemingly non-existent. That's not to say that I haven't got a new set of people to hang out with in my classes. On the real though, I can't replace the kids that I came up with. I feel like this happens to me all the time. Elementary school, high school & now in university, there is always a point where everyone I know suddenly vanishes. However, it's become surprisingly easy to get by without seeing the people that mean the most to me. That's probably sad, but you know how I live. Work hard, hate everything & then be the happiest person in the room when it's all over. That's life in "The Zone", I guess.

For me to be legitimately happy, I need to be done with school. I don't want just a vacation, I want the degree & to never have to be back here. If you've ever heard my "Boyfriend CSA VS Student CSA" rant, then you know how this goes (Here, we'll replace the word "boyfriend" with "happy"). The two can't coexist. As a student, I'm known to lock myself away from the world & not come back until I get a victory. If you're happy, or in a relationship, you can't be the guy who isolates himself to study for hours until he feels like he knows everything. At least, I can't do it. I've tried & failed. Personally, I'm not into risking one in the hopes that I can make a half-assed attempt at the other. So here's to the person I'll be when this school thing is over. The smiles will be worth all the hours of wearing the game-face... hopefully.