The Half-Way Point

I'm miserable. The last few weeks have been difficult & I feel like even on the rare occasion I see the Sun, the moment is overshadowed by the fact that I'm cold. However, the word "blog" has been kicked around a few times this week so in an effort to steal the ideas of a friend of mine vent my frustrations, here are some words that I wrote.
School is still proving to be less than enjoyable. I've spent the last week in my room trying to pull papers & reports out of thin-air. Maybe that's why I'm so willing to write a blog post today. Last weekend was spent on an Ecotox paper that was supposed to be 5-pages & single-spaced. I was under the impression that it was due on Tuesday but as I finished it, I got word that it may not have been due until Dec. 19. Fantastic, right? I only spent days working on an assignment that wasn't due any time soon while I could've been working on a lab report that was due on Friday. Shout-out to Efe for helping me proofread that monster.

My Biochem report was expected to be around 20 pages. Care to guess how many I had written by Wednesday? It rhymes with hero. It was due at 4pm on Friday & I busted my butt to make it happen on time. Around 3:40pm I wrapped it up & raced to the Bio office to submit it. However, the office was empty & the door was locked. I was hoping that I'd be able to avoid losing marks by putting the report in the assignment drop-box, but that hope went out the window around 8pm when I realised that I had forgotten to also submit it online. Hooray for late penalties!

Now I'm facing 3 exams; 2 this week. I'm probably going to end up locked in my room studying again but I'm starting to feel like that's the source of a fair amount of my issues. For example, I avoided the Internet last weekend to write that Ecotox paper. On Monday when I signed in, the reaction I got was as if I was back from the dead. From Tuesday to Saturday, I vanished again. I assumed that my reasoning was sound for doing so. I need to study so I can graduate. On Sunday morning though I caught hell!
It was more than the usual, "I thought you were dead" type stuff. I had people telling me that if I can't take two seconds to log-in to a website to check-in with people, it means that I don't care about them. To me, that's 7 different shades of dumb but I see where they're coming from. There are some people that I dream about hanging out with & there I was, not taking time out to let them know I care. Regardless of that fact that I'll tell certain people that we need to get together or that I can't stop thinking about her them every chance I get, apparently if I don't tell them I think they're awesome everyday, I'm a terrible person. Yep, I totally agree with you. I suck.

Additionally, since we're on the topic of me sucking (Shut up. You're disgusting.), here's something else that's been taking up valuable real-estate in my mind. If I put out a YouTube video which consists of myself telling jokes for 69 seconds, why do certain people feel the need to assume that I'm talking about them? Sit the f--k ALL THE WAY DOWN! You're going to blow up my inbox because you think I was talking negatively about you? Really? If I had a problem with you, I'd tell you about it. Also, if I rarely speak to you, how would I even develop a problem with you in the first place? I'm actually shocked that that's the type of person some people think I am. I'll put this out there: My audience isn't at the level where I'm going to talk about waste-mans people I barely know in my videos. I get views internationally. I'm sure you'd like to think that I'm talking about you to my viewers in California or in Norway but you're not that important. Stop flattering yourself.

In other news, my sleep cycle is non-existent, I'm slipping out of shape due to my lack of training & I still have the dreams of a person who has obviously fallen in crazy. Jazz & the "Art of Wrestling" podcast are the only things that are keeping me going. Also, I'm pretty sure my Mom thinks I have an eating disorder. Such is my life, kids. One day it'll all make sense.

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